Them and Us

I live what I’m told is a middle class life… My wife and I both work full time, we have the child, the dog, the house, the mortgage, the cars, the car payments. Sound familiar? If yes, than you are classified as one of “us”.  You understand what it’s like when the spouse loses a job and you see the debt load climb, the unexpected car repair, the expensive summer camp bills.  You understand because ultimately you write the cheque for all of the above… and then some.  We’re the ones who drive the car yet another year longer, don’t take the vacation when times are tough, and work the overtime when offered.  In success or failure... we take it.

As an “us” person I am having an increasingly difficult time understanding “them”.  By them, I mean those we see as the lead stories in our nightly news and daily radio talk shows.  Our politicians… they clearly are not one of us, despite their campaign claims.

When I hear a Canadian Senator being interviewed over allegations of improper expense claims I feel my head nearing explosive pressure.  Clearly they just don’t get it.   It’s bad enough that taxpayers are on the hook for paying their freight every time they fly home. But apparently that’s not good enough, instead they bill 2 other agencies for the same flight. And bill for fictional expenses. When questioned the response is a variation of “I’m entitled to my entitlements”.  And that only the airlines benefited? Seriously?  Well when one of “us” travels and somebody else pays the tab we consider it a benefit.  Whenever I don’t have to write a cheque for goods and services I receive…it seems pretty clear who the beneficiary is.  But not so for THEM.  The look of bewilderment and consternation from our politicians when clearly caught with their hands in the cookie jar is both maddening and pathetic.  Are these people really that delusional or just great actors? Sorry, but the crocodile tears just are not cutting it.

What I do know is that WE are getting tired of THEM.  And I hope that at the next opportunity we exercise our democratic right to clean house. It’s time to take out the trash.   

Are They Listening?

Do you ever wonder if your kids are listening to anything you say or do? You are in good company if you have these thoughts.   All be it my little guy is only 5 and I wonder sometimes if we should have his ears checked… but he seems to have no problem hearing the Treehouse channel. Several of my friends now have teenagers and wonder if they have an ounce of influence on any of their kid’s decisions.

I had the occasion to spend an evening with a long-time friend…sans kids.  We had the time to share some parenting experiences. His daughter, now 14, has little time for her dad these days other than when some cash is needed for camp or a new I-phone… not an easy time.

All this talk prompted a trip down memory lane, to a time when I was a teenager.  I grew up in a blue collar immigrant home in the country.  My dad was a good role model in many ways, hardworking family man and provider. But German dads of his generation were not known for great conversations with their kids about the meaning of life.   Compared to many of my friends I spent a lot of time with my dad when I was growing up.  I spent a lot of Saturdays rambling down country roads in a pick-up truck with “the old man”, coming to and from job sites or cutting fire wood for the long cold winters. We talked plenty…about cars, politics, and cars…

But when I was in Grade 13, and it was decision time about whether to go to work, college or university…much to my surprise, my Dad did have something to say. He didn’t call a meeting or center me out at the dinner table. In his quiet way as we bounced around in the old pick-up truck on a Saturday afternoon, he firmly suggested I take option # 3, University. He calmly explained that he felt I had what it took and I should at least give it my best shot…and he would do whatever he could at his end to make it possible. And then we talked about cars.   A few months later he dropped me off at the doors of York University.  Yes Dad…I was listening, and Thanks!

Getting Sleepy Now

As a Canadian the number one topic of conversation is the weather, as a parent the topic of sleep or perhaps more accurately, the lack of sleep has to be in the top 5!

I came into parenthood a little later in life than many…in my early 40’s. For many of those 40 plus years I enjoyed sound fitful sleep, rarely interrupted, rarely less than a solid 7-8 hours. And in all honesty I have to admit wondering what all the fuss was about when those other people (parents) complained about sleep issues…Suck it up folks! Well yes indeed payback is a bitch… now I’m the one complaining and getting those looks of disbelief from the "parents to be".

Folklore suggests that mothers are programmed to forget the worst of the childbearing process, otherwise no woman would ever have a second child and the human species would have long become extinct. Having been in the delivery room and witnessed what my wife went through I strongly suspect there may be some truth to that theory.

Now let’s take the theory one step further…do parents forget the worst of the early parenting experience as well…for the sake of the future of the species? Or is it just all the sleep deprivation that has caused memory loss?

I do remember enough… especially about the massive changes to sleep patterns to say it’s worth a conversation. But is there really a solution? I have my doubts.

In my particular case we had an infant that went through an extended phase where only daddy could put him in his crib without a meltdown. This was a difficult time and the impact on me and those around me was serious. I can't remember a time where I had to "drag my ass" in so many ways. I really don't know how I made it through some of those days at work, and god bless my coworkers for tolerating my less than exemplary work on some days. For me the first thing to go when exhaustion sets in is my patience. After multiple days it can get down right ugly. A friend of mine, also a parent, shared his valuable experience that just when you think you've reached the very end of your rope...it gives just a little more. Thankfully he was right. There were some dark days and in hindsight I wish I had handled somethings differently..but don't know if that was even a possibility.

My son is only 5 but has now been sleeping through the night for quite some time, and that dark period of months of sleepless nights, seems at times, like it was a lifetime ago. But it changed me, probably forever.

I was out last night for a rare "guys night out" with a friend. He's my age, with a teenage daughter. At dinner we laughed over our now ever conscious choice to avoid caffeine and of course the topic of "sleep" was discussed. He shattered my illusion that my sleep would return to those days before child. He too went from the sound sleeper to the light sleeper, up at least once a night often more... Funny I don 't remember reading this in any of those parenting books before we got pregnant...

And what inspired this post? I had an absolutely horrendous sleep last night...

Immunizations and the Conspiracy Theorists.

When Conspiracy theories affect kids health...

My 5 year old brings many things home from school. Last week it was a note from the Principal that there had been a confirmed case of Chicken Pox in the school. This prompted his mother and I to review the immunization record we have for our son. .. And yes DS5 has received all his immunizations, including the one for Chicken Pox. So we had a collective sigh of relief.

The next day on my travels the topic on the radio was the ever controversial flu shot… and the annual debate of "do we or don’t we." I cringed when the radio station opened up the phone lines…as next to the topic of the 9/11 World Trade Center disaster, nothing draws out the conspiracy theorists faster than talk of immunizations…tin hats firmly in place. Sure enough it didn’t take long for the calls and claims of conspiracy to start. The usual theories of mercury laden viles and  other "junk" to further the profits and agenda of big business…and of course these callers could not be dissuaded by mere evidence from hundreds of reputable medical studies dispelling these myths….because if a 3rd rate actress, claims it gave her son Autism...well it must be true.

I don’t get too bent out of shape when Adults make the choice not to get the Flu shot, but when the decision involves not immunizing children from serious illnesses my blood pressure rises. Now to be fair…I have missed a few flu shots over the years…but as a direct result of sloth and procrastination. I’ve also been known to be downright suspicious of big Pharma and the desire to drug us for anything and everything, but the bottom line is that I have to believe in science and more importantly the results.  When hundreds of studies from reputable and learned sources all arrive at the same result...you have my attention.

I guess the images of kids in iron lungs, and wheel chairs and leg braces from the ravages of Polio are now too distant for parents of today to remember? At risk of raising the ire of the conspiracy theorists, I have to say it’s at best reckless to not immunize your kids, at worst it’s extremely dangerous and potentially deadly. Not immunizing kids is also selfish and ignorant…unless you live on a deserted island, your decision affects all of us. Immunizing worked in the past to eradicate devastating illnesses like Polio and small pox because everybody participated. I thought evolution meant we got smarter with time…but sometimes it appears we are leaping backwards.

Talk to your doctor and do it for the children!