Maybe I’m not cut out to be a Soccer dad?! As the Dad of a boy that has just turned 7,
I wonder about which sports he should play.
We hear the stories about the “Hockey Parents” that turn the game into
an unsavoury event….but Soccer should be safe right? It’s the gentleman’s
game. This is our 3rd summer
of soccer for DS7. The first year was quite comical…trying to get a half dozen
4 year olds' to do anything, let alone as a team, is quite a challenge. But it was amusing and
fun. In the second year a good coach managed to engage the kids and we could see
the beginnings of some actual ‘soccer like’ play going on. The kids had fun so
I was okay with it, and of course there were a few parents that clearly thought
their kids (at 5 years of age) have a Fifa future. Those that know me can see me doing some eye
rolling….
Now we are in year 3, the news initially was good. We landed
the same excellent coach. And this year is real soccer, with rules, referees, full
field etc. The mission statement is: "The _____Soccer Club builds self
esteem in the children of our community by developing athletic skills and
sportsmanship through fun and friendly competition." It
all sounds good. But now a month into the
season I’m seeing those alleged traits we sneer at among the hockey parents and
coaches, appearing on the soccer pitch.
We have 6 and 7 year olds “playing” a game and a coach is dropping
f- bombs at his players, playing his 2 top players for the entire game, while
others sit on the sidelines, encouraging
his team to charge the opponents after a kick from the goalie, and to run up
the score as high as possible.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those parents that believe
kids should be in a bubble and not allowed to fail. I understand and believe
that losing is part of life, and provide valuable lessons, but that is not what’s
happening here. I get it, that Soccer at
the Rep or Professional level is as competitive as any sport, and you have to
be tough to play, but we’re not there yet. These are 6 and 7 year olds, some
playing for their first season. So is it
necessary to totally humiliate the opposing team after it becomes clear that
they are not evenly matched? How many
goals should be scored before it’s enough? 8, 10, 12, 20? Should it go to the point where the kids give up
on the game and just don’t want to play anymore? Now I’m hearing that during the preseason various
coaches engaged in some “horse trading” among themselves in an attempt to stack
their teams. Seriously?
It all reminds me of my youth in elementary school, when an
ill-tempered gym teacher had zero patience for those of us that weren’t star
athletes. That experience negatively
impacted my self- confidence and turned me off sports. Fortunately some of that damage was undone
when I reached High School, where there was a very different attitude among the
gym teachers and sport became fun.
So now I find myself wondering if this is just the way it
has to be in team sports in this culture?
Fortunately I am not alone and have found other parents with the same
concerns. So now what? We have an ally in our coach who loves the sport and the
kids. He sees what this does to youngsters.
I have contacted the club and expressed my concerns. Other
parents are doing the same. I wish I was
more confident that things will change. I want my 7 year old to learn the gentlemen's game and have fun, but as of today, swimming is look good.
