What I Learned On Summer Vacation 2022

                                        What I Learned On Summer Vacation 2022

As a family, we have wanted to do an epic road trip for a number of years, but something always got in the way. A Job change, family obligations, and of course the biggie…Covid. But now as we return to some sense of normalcy, we decided to pull the trigger and make it happen.  I am writing this in hindsight, we have been home for a week now. Sorry for ruining the suspense...we made it.

We had a few different destinations in mind, and after a few years of Ontario discovery trips, we wanted to go out of the province.  Many of our friends and coworkers had made the trip to the East Coast and loved it. And we wanted the flexibility to hook up with some friends that moved out to Nova Scotia a decade ago.  We chose Prince Edward Island as our final destination.

We chose to drive, we wanted to avoid the expense and the current nightmare of what is Pearson International Airport. We also wanted our kids, now 8 and 14, to experience the vastness of this great Country.  We were prepared for this when we bought our 7-passenger van in 2020. Now was the time! 

Here are some random things I learned from this adventure; you may judge if there have been any embellishments. 😊   

1. Even though we planned many stops well in advance, there was no guarantee that it would work out as we thought.  There are always factors out of our control, weather, venue closures, travel fatigue and the inevitable last-minute kid meltdown “but I don’t want to go”.   One of my earliest items on the “must see and do list”, was Tidal Bore Rafting. But as things turned out, the tides were at their highest, so Carleigh was too young to go, and in the end, nobody else was really into it. So we let that slip off the itinerary. Maybe next time.

2. Book your hotels early, and carefully, especially if you are planning on traveling over weekends.  We were pretty lucky for the most part, and our requirements are pretty modest.  We don’t need 5-star accommodations. But one stop on our way home in New Brunswick was a little rough around the edges.  A sense of humour was helpful to get through it.  The “lakefront cabins” we had reserved were more adapted toolsheds on an algae-filled pond.  The rickety decks, crazy noisy exhaust fans, plugged toilet, and sketchy neighbours were only to be topped by our discovery of a CN rail line running directly behind the cabins. The toot toot clickety clack, clickety clack loses it’s charm at 1:00 AM. But the “free” breakfast was great!

3. Be prepared for travel fatigue and crankiness from everyone at some point.  When we arrived at the cottage we had rented for a week, after traveling for a week, in and out of hotels, everybody was done…. NOBODY was happy. But given some time to decompress and assisted by the sheer beauty of our surroundings, we all bounced back, quickly, and let bygones be bygones. In hindsight perhaps we were too ambitious on our first week’s itinerary.

4. I was not prepared for the sheer beauty of this country. Over and over, we were blown away by the unspoiled beauty. Whether it was the grand vistas of the mighty St. Lawrence, the experience of walking on the ocean floor after a 40-foot tide had receded at Hopewell Rocks. The picture-perfect experience of Prince Edward Island is hard to describe and left us yearning to go back to spend more time, explore more, learn more.  I have never seen a place where so much pride of ownership is on display. The beaches are pristine, the family homes are quaint and colourful, the lawns are huge and manicured, the farm fields lush and colourful.

5. Swimming in the ocean is a must.  The water was a little colder than my last time in the Atlantic, a few thousand km’s to the south. But there is nothing like the taste of salt on your lips, and the feeling of the fine sand between your toes as you walk the beach.

6. Canadians are kind, we didn’t have a bad experience with anyone we encountered on the trip. But East coasters take it to a higher level. When we first came across the listing for the cottage we rented. We weren’t prepared for the laid-back response from the owners. They were slow in responding, leaving us concerned that we might lose the reservation. Only to be assured that the place was ours, and the financial details would be done old school, snail mail, on island time.  The cottage was everything they said it would be, even the cleaners were kind.  When I noticed a concerning wheel noise on our van, the local Dodge dealer bent over backward to keep us on the road, we only lost a few hours of our vacation time for the repair, not a dime was charged, all under warranty.

7.  I am glad we allowed ourselves time to be flexible and change course when it seemed right. We originally had not planned to venture as far as Halifax. But when time allowed we took the time to do it. My interest was to see Pier 21. This proved to be a rather emotional stop for me, my parents landed here in 1957, as immigrants.  To see the photo on the wall of the ship they traveled on, the stories of so many waves of people that arrived here to make a better life…and did. Though it wasn’t easy. I was heartened to see the interest my kids showed at this wonderful museum. I am glad we made the time to experience it.

In the end, if I had it to do all over again, I would change a few things, but I have no regrets. It was on my bucket list to see the Canadian East Coast. Mission accomplished. The experience was positive, but most importantly I believe my kids will carry the memories for a lifetime. We will likely return to P.E.I. again, I am not sure when, but we will likely fly to save time. (the chaos around flying can’t last forever…can it?) Our next major adventure will likely take us West. Time to save our nickels or win the lottery.

 

  

The Long Good Bye

They say you can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family. But that isn’t completely true. Over 20 years ago I chose a partner, a young lady who agreed to walk this journey with me.

We eventually married and chose to start a family. I realize the saying is about the family you are born into, but in reality today, families are made in many different ways.  I have been fortunate enough to be part of a very special family, and how it all came together is one for the history books.

I remember my first trip to Sudbury, in the year 2000 to meet the people that would become my in-laws.  I wasn’t sure what to expect, my wife had given me her version of what I should expect, but the reality is unique to the individual.  I was welcomed into their home and treated with kindness, curiosity, and probably some reservation. Now that I am a father of a daughter, I get that. That first trip was short and pretty uneventful.  I don’t know that my future father-in-law knew at the time that he had met his future son-in-law. I don't know that he would have chosen me at that time 😊. But it was the first of many trips.

Family dynamics can be interesting and over the next 20 + years my relationship with this man would change dramatically. From the beginning where we both held back to measure each other, to the end where all walls had come down and a solid relationship of love and respect had blossomed. I am writing this today, due to the loss of this great man. A harsh and heartbreaking loss, the result of a years-long battle with Dementia.

When we first met I thought I had zero in common with this Doctor, husband, and father. He didn’t have a whole lot to say on our first visit, which is not unusual for relationships between men.  In the years that followed, we didn’t always see eye to eye on everything, but I began to see I had more in common with him than I first thought. He had come from humble beginnings, believed in hard work, was the ultimate family man, had a passion for cars, loved the outdoors, vanilla ice cream, and nothing more than to have the newspaper waiting in the morning with his coffee. He was also fiercely loyal to his family. My own father had many of the same traits, and so do I.

A lot of life happens in 20+ years. And we shared many of those experiences. Some were joyful times.  Shopping trips to get ready for our wedding, vacations together, help buying our first house, being together for the birth of my son, then years later the arrival of my daughter. He was such a proud grandfather. Other times were very, very difficult. With the death of my brother-in-law Andy, his son, from a long battle with Melanoma. I remember picking him up at the airport and seeing a man whose heart had been hollowed out. But he still walked with grace and carried on courageously, for his wife and family.

He was teased a lot by his wife and daughter for being a white-collar guy and not being “handy” around the house. He took the jokes in stride, but in reality that wasn’t really true. He wasn’t a carpenter, but he knew how to swing a hammer with the best of them.  And what I discovered was that he loved to be part of a project at the camp or our house. Whether it was cutting down trees, repairing the dock, leveling the deck, or draining the water system at the end of the season, he was all over it. We made a damn good team. 

His passion for cars was something we could share as well. It became a tradition that no matter what the weather, he would make the trek to Toronto so we could attend the International Auto show. We did this faithfully for many years until Dementia took that away. I remember our last trip there and seeing the fear in the eyes of this once confident man, and it was sad and terrifying to think of losing him there in that crowd. 

Dementia has no compassion, it takes people from you in slow motion, in increments. They call it the long goodbye.  And it’s true.  Over time you see a person become less. It’s heart-wrenching to watch.

 But almost to the end, I could still get him to join me for a road trip, whether it was a run to Canadian Tire for supplies or a dump run, he was up for it. He would want to know how many kilometers I had on the car now. He was always shaking his head at me for the high mileage vehicles I drove. Inevitably he would want to know what the horsepower was, and when I might be looking for a new one.

Elwood, our beginning was a little shaky, but in the end, you became a 2nd Dad. You were a constant source of strength and a great mentor. I will miss our chats, your love of my children, your support, our road trips, and our handyman projects. May you Rest in well-earned Peace.