Structure! That’s what kids need, structure and routine! That
sounds reasonable, right? I can definitely see the benefits of structure and
routine. It’s predictable, it’s safe, most everybody else does it, and supposedly it turns kids into well adjusted angels.
I bought in...For more years than I care to remember I have
climbed out of bed between 6:30 and 7:00 am, had a shower, 2 cups of coffee, dropped a kid off
at daycare and then joined the commuter shuffle, trying to find the path of
least resistance to the office. After spending the day at work, keeping
customers and managers as satisfied as possible, it was time for the commuter
shuffle in reverse. Then jam a day’s worth of parenting into 2 hours, until
kiddy bedtime…repeat.
Now into my 4th week as a stay at home dad, I’ve
stepped off one treadmill, and trying not to step onto another. I have to wonder if all that structure is actually
more for the parent than the child. And
maybe, just maybe it’s a little over rated?! At this point, meeting the needs and expectations
of an 11 month old toddler is not exceptionally difficult. In fact it’s quite
manageable. What’s proven to be more
challenging is to relax, and let go of some of the structure and routine that I
did faithfully for so many years. As it
stands, with a 2 nap day for the youngest, and a set time for school drop off and pickup for my 1st grader, the day is structuring itself. The
gaps in between are surprisingly short, and fill themselves easily with day to
day chores.
What is proving to be more challenging is finding some unstructured
time to get the hell out of the house! Yes it will get easier once the winter relents,
but at the moment, being largely home for 22 hours a day grates. Yes I'm counting, I was not
made to be housebound!
While I know it’s
important to stay “in the moment” I can’t help but yearn for longer, warmer
days that will allow for some new outdoor adventures.
The bikes are looking awfully
lonely in the shed! I can't wait to introduce our youngest to the joys of cycling. The seat has been waiting a few years for a new rider. But above all I will need to remind myself that it’s okay
to depart from routine, because kids are resilient and so are adults! So if
that snow we got today stays on the ground who knows what could happen! Perhaps something radical, like tobogganing on Clarkson's "Kentucky Hill". Going forward, in a never ending quest for
balance, the goal will be to let go of unnecessary routine, and make room for
the spontaneity of life. But now I’ve gotta run, it’s my scheduled bedtime…
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