Why We Will Always Have a Dog!

As first published on BabyPost.com

We have a dog…we are not sure if the dog knows she is a dog,  but she clearly is a big goofy 11 year old black Labrador Retriever.  We also have 2 kids, almost 2 and 7 years of age. Yes, we are the poster family for a minivan.  Should you get a dog? I don’t know the answer to that, but for us it’s been a great ride.  

It was the summer of 2005 when I got an email at work, with the picture of a 3 month old Labrador puppy and the heading ‘Looking for a good home”.   My wife and I had been contemplating getting a dog and starting a family was also on the horizon, we just weren’t sure what order they would arrive.  The email proved to be life changing. We went that night to meet “Bella”, we pretty much knew that unless something highly unusual occurred we were likely coming home with a puppy.  We are both dog people, Lisa grew up with the small dog breeds, I grew up with bigger dogs including Labradors and German Shepherds.  Because of my experience with the bigger breeds, my wife asked me “Are Labradors affectionate?”  A good question considering we were hopeful to add kids to our family very soon.  The answer to the question came easily, and if you have never met a Labrador, yes they are quite affectionate.

Bella came home with us that evening, and our lives have never been the same since.  If you have seen the movie “Marley and Me” you may have an idea what it’s like to have a crazy, loveable, high energy dog move in with you.   Bella’s tail has more strength than a bionic limb; it rarely rests, and is the perfect height to clear off most coffee tables.  No coffee cup, vase, or magazine is safe.   She quickly learned basic English…the mere mention of the W-A-L-K word resulted in excitement overload.   Shoes were chewed, leather gloves were shredded, and floors were peed on.  We knew that Labs tended to be excitable and slower to grow up than other breeds, but Bella took this to the max.  Despite the antics Bella quickly became a part of the family and her unique personality was revealed. Along with her exuberance was incredible loyalty and affection. This dog loved her people and could be found anywhere we were, at the cottage, swimming in the lake, walking in the parks, and sleeping in the bed.

I would be lying to suggest the thought didn’t cross my mind on whether this dog would be suitable for a family with babies and toddlers. Our concern was not about a mean temperament, or biting. But would her hyper behaviour send toddlers flying across the room?  Would her very strong bond with us result in jealous behaviour?  We weren’t sure… we also didn’t want to think about what we would do if she didn’t react well to the arrival of kids.

I grew up with animals, I believe I was 3 and my sister 10 when my parents caved in to the requests for a puppy, and we had a steady stream of dogs, cats, and even a pony throughout my childhood and adolescence.  I know there are those that feel it’s irresponsible to have pets with young children. But given my experience I think the advantages far outweigh the challenges…and there are challenges.

I can’t speak for my parents but from a kid’s point of view, it just seemed second nature to have a dog.  As a young boy they provided great companionship when there were no other kids around.  They provided a heated pillow while lying on the rec room floor watching tv. They taught me to care for other living creatures. I learned that while dogs were different than me, could not talk, they clearly were capable of being hurt, being loved and loving, as well as communicating in different ways.  And they introduced me to the concept of loyalty, no matter what stupid juvenile stunts I pulled, the family dog always stood by me, even when my Mom wasn’t speaking to me.

 Now all those years later, roles reversed and acting as parent, we had Bella. And sure enough the first kid did arrive when Bella was emerging from her puppy years as a 3 year old.  The shoe chewing had stopped, but her sheer enthusiasm for just being alive had not waned.   In 3 years we had never seen any anger or aggression in her temperament. 

In July of 2008 our son arrived. Before we brought him home we let Bella smell one of his blankets so the scent would be familiar.  Bella eagerly greeted us when we brought our boy home, the nose sniffing and tail wagging in high gear. I held her tightly by the collar and let her inspect our new bundle. Her excitement was clear but she seemed to understand that this package was special with some fragility and she settled down.   She quickly adapted to the routine of having another little human in the house, and was quite happy to have company during the day now with Lisa and the baby home on parental leave. It was not long before she recognized the crying baby and if we didn’t react soon enough she would get our attention and stare at us intently with a “aren’t you going to do something” look. And almost 8 years later I can say we still have not witnessed any aggression.  Our second child arrived a year ago with Bella as a “senior citizen”. She quickly adopted this new toddler as one of her people and her same loyal, patient, gentleness continues.    

Now we are not from the school of thought that dogs and toddlers should be together without supervision or boundaries.  In many ways we were more concerned about the dog getting hurt than the toddlers. Kids don’t have great judgement and don’t know their own strength. So we have done our best to protect Bella from ear pulls, fingers in the eyes…and other areas. We try to always insure Bella has a way to escape, never feeling trapped.  For the most part we have been successful.  But a great dog means they are prepared for the worst, those moments when we don’t run interference quick enough.

Bella is the ultimate good sport. Over the years she has willing submitted to having her toe nails painted green,  a toddler eating her kibble, being sprayed with the hose, being puked on, and her tail scotch taped, to name just a few interactions.  To date this dog has accepted this with grace, at most a belly grumble or sigh, never aggression.  

Our son is 7 now, and he has become a great dog lover and is showing his little sister how to be gentle with this furry member of our family.  Perhaps the lack of allergies and strong immune system are also thanks to the constant companionship of our Bella.

I won’t say there have been no regrets or second thoughts, there have been a few.  If you are seriously thinking of adding a dog to your family there are a few things you should know.  It’s not always easy…and your life will change. In some ways a dog is a tougher commitment than a child.  Not everywhere you visit welcomes a dog.  Not every hotel welcomes a dog.  Not every family member likes a dog. Working late is tougher when you have a dog.  Going on vacation gets more complicated with a dog.  Selling a house gets more complicated when you have a dog. Buying a vehicle has more limitations when you have a big dog.  Vets are expensive if and when the dog gets sick. Dogs shed and track in dirt. Dogs need to get outside and need exercise everyday rain or shine.  And unlike kids, dogs don’t grow up, they remain dependent on you for their entire lives, and that life can be long. 

But if none of that scares you off, than buckle up, you are in for a great ride!  You will be welcomed home enthusiastically EVERY DAY, no matter how big of a jerk you have been. You will witness heartwarming interactions with your kids and you will experience unconditional love at its purest.